Sarah Manguso: The Two Kinds of Decay

Selected Excerpt

“There are two kinds of decay: mine and everyone else’s. This is the usual sort of book about illness. Someone gets sick, someone gets well. Those who claim to write about something larger and more significant than the self sometimes fail to comprehend the dimensions of a self. Most people consider their own suffering a widely applicable model, and I am no exception. This is suffering’s lesson: pay attention. The important part might come in a form you do not recognize. You might not know to love it. But to pay attention is to love everything. To see the future as brightness. Everything that happens is the last time it happens. We see things only as their own fatal brightness, and there is nothing after that brightness. You can’t learn from remembering. You can’t learn from guessing. You can learn only from moving forward at the rate you are moved, as brightness, into brightness.” (“The End,” pgs 183-184)

Discussion Questions

  • How did yours or another person's attention influence your or their perception of illness?

  • Sarah Manguso states that suffering's lesson is to pay attention and that paying attention is "to love everything". How does this resonate with you? In what ways do the past events color the present circumstances?

  • What does this reading teach us about how to better care for ourselves, our loved ones, and/or our patients?

Reflections from #MedHumChat

“I project myself onto so many patients and families. I've been surprised and humbled and taught by so many who frame their illnesses and circumstances in ways I never could've fathomed. When I turn my attention away from my framing and pay attention to theirs, it changes everything.”—@alinasato

“To me, paying attention means being present. Sitting in the suffering instead of trying to avoid it. By being present, you’re opening yourself up to all the emotions that comes with being vulnerable.”—@HMorganPedsPCPA

“for me, these readings are a reminder to be more present to what the people in my life are "saying" without actually speaking. It's the subtleties of body language and the unspoken emotions that drive the connections.”—@BeccaOm15

“ ‘The important part may come in a form you do not recognize.’ Things we recognize catch our attention the fastest but to truly pay attention means we are open to all things, not just the things we already recognize/expect. *Then* we can address what's actually most important.”—@alinasato

About this #MedHumChat

“The End,” an excerpt from The Two Kinds of Decay by Sarah Manguso was paired with “Doors opening, closing on us,” a poem by Marge Piercy for a #MedHumChat discussion October 2, 2019 exploring Attention.

The pieces for this chat, along with the discussion questions, were selected by Ritu Thamman.

About the Author

Sarah Manguso is the author of seven critically acclaimed books and the recipient of a Guggenheim Fellowship and the Rome Prize. You can learn more about her here.