Suleika Jaouad: The Beat Goes On
Selected Excerpts
“Between the hospital walls, hearing my favorite songs filled me with a deep, unbearable ache. Music, and the memories attached to them, reminded me of all that was no longer. Where had that feisty, fresh-faced music student with long auburn hair gone?”
“Oncology wards, more than anywhere else I know, are musicless places. Instead of melody, there is constant beeping. Instead of singing, there is the steady medical call-and-response loop: nurses hollering to one another; patients calling, sometimes screaming, for their doctors; nurses scrambling to find the doctors; visitors searching frantically for nurses.”
“As the sound of Jon’s harmonaboard filled the hallways, nurses and patients filtered out of their rooms. The patients who could walk, walked. Those who couldn’t were wheeled to their doorways by nurses or family members. Others listened from their beds. Every inch of the 25-room floor was filled with music. Timidly at first, and then with jubilation, patients, nurses and other hospital workers began to dance and clap. The oncology ward was breathing a sigh of relief, its inhabitants rejoicing in a temporary timeout, losing themselves to the beauty and healing power of the music. I was beaming beneath my face mask.”
Discussion Questions
How does Suleika’s relationship with music help us understand her experience with illness?
How have you experienced the sounds of the hospital?
How do you feel about the ending of Jaouad’s essay? How does it differ from Campo’s poem?
When have you witnessed or experienced joy in the hospital? How can we foster these experiences for patients, even in small ways?
Reflections from #MedHumChat
“She frames music as a choice (“The thought that I could choose my instrument was a revelation.”) and an opportunity for growth (bass was taller than her). It was something that took all of her (talent, physical strength, emotions) and she lost that through illness.” —@BriChristophers
“The link between music and memory seems important and how memory is recalled through sensory experience. I'm also thinking about how major life experiences like cancer make us feel like a different person. Our sense of self or identity shifts.” —@AMLeahy
“I hardly notice hospital sounds - but sometimes when I leave, I find myself savoring the quiet, releasing a tension I didn’t know I was carrying.” —@walaatout
“Social worker former opera singer belting out aria in a patient‘s room. Will never forget it.” —@millstej
“I think about how music brings us together. I think about how some of the best times come from just hanging out and playing music with your friends. Such a feeling of almost divine connectedness. Hard to describe but I think it's captured well here.” —@brianchiong
About this #MedHumChat
“The Beat Goes On” was paired with “The Performance,” a poem by Rafael Campo for a #MedHumChat discussion February 13, 2019 exploring Music & Laughter on the Oncology Ward.
The pieces for this chat, along with the discussion questions, were selected by Colleen Farrell.
About the Author
Suleika Jaouad (@suleikajaouad) is an Emmy Award-winning writer, speaker, activist and cancer survivor. You can learn more about Suleika’s story and work here.