Sam Sax: On PrEP or on Prayer

On PrEP or on Prayer

high risk factors

+ inconsistent condom use;

i slip

+ sexual contact associated with substance abuse;

my arm

+ history of prior STI;

into the earth

+ anonymous sexual partner(s)

& pull out

+ multiple sexual partners ( > 1 per year);

the fat heart

+forced/coerced sexual contact;

of a deer

+ history of tattoo;

shot through

+ history of MSM;

the stomach

+ sexual contact with known positive HIV partner(s);

by famine

+ sexual contact with known IV drug use by patient or partner(s);

& watch how

+ history of body piercing;

it still

+ history of shared razors;

throbs

Discussion Questions

  • What are your thoughts on this poem? Is there any line in particular that stands out?

  • This poem shows us how oppressive risk factors can feel as a patient. How can we communicate risk in a way that fosters acceptance?

Reflections from #MedHumChat

“The juxtaposition of pulling an animal's heart from the earth with the very clinical, pathologized list of risk factors for HIV brought the clinical back to the natural for me. That HIV, like famine, is a tragic element of nature.”—@MGraceOliver

“The line "& watch how it still throbs" makes me think about the revolutionary and life-affirming quality of queer sex. There's a line from the Queer Nation manifesto that reads, "Every time we fuck, we  win." Queer sex can be a powerful act of embodied resistance.”—@zenasharman

“Something I try to do as a Sexperts Peer Educator with @OUHealthHut is criticize institutions, not identities. Ex. race is not a risk factor; it's the racism. Young people, queer people, and people of color are at risk for STIs because our systems fail them the most.”—@leannekmho

“The way that we label patients / stigmatizing language that we often use does so much harm. Recognizing that our words have power (and remembering that our patients are people too) could go long way towards fostering acceptance.”—@DianeCejasMD

About this #MedHumChat

“On PrEP or on Prayer” was paired with “Pursuing Happiness as a Trans Woman of Color,” an essay by Kai Cheng Tom for a #MedHumChat discussion June 26, 2019 exploring LGBTQ+ Pride.

We were honored to be joined by special guests Leanne Ho (@leannekmho) and Dr. Patrick Herron, D.Be. (@pdherron) for this #MedHumChat. Leanne Ho is a queer and non-binary activist, intern at the Medical Student Pride Alliance, and is currently finishing a BA in English Literature and Biology with the aim of pursuing medicine. Dr. Herron is an Associate Professor of Family & Social Medicine and of Epidemiology, director of bioethics education, and chair of the LGBTQIA health curriculum at the Albert Einstein College of Medicine.

The pieces for this chat, along with the discussion questions, were selected by Colleen Farrell.

About the Author

Sam Sax (@samsax1) is a queer, award-winning poet, and educator. He earned a BA from Oberlin College and an MFA in poetry from the University of Texas at Austin, and has received fellowships from the National Endowment for the Arts, Lambda Literacy, and the MacDowell Colony. He is currently a Wallace Stegner Fellow at Stanford University. You can learn more about him here.