Brianne Benness: Dear Problem Patients - An open letter to anyone who’s ever felt dismissed by their doctor
Selected Excerpt
“Dear Problem Patients:
I want you to know that I believe you. No matter what is going on with your body or how strange it sounds when you try to explain it, I want you to know that I believe you.
Maybe your friends are pulling away because you keep canceling plans and you don’t have the words to explain why. Maybe your job performance or your studies are suffering because it takes all you have just to keep a healthy-looking face on during the day. Maybe you’ve stopped working entirely because your foggy brain and your tired aching body can no longer perform tasks that used to be easy. Maybe your family thinks you need to stop being so dramatic; maybe they’ve said this to you explicitly or maybe it’s implied when they roll their eyes, when they stop asking you how you’re doing. Maybe your doctor leaned away from you when you brought up your concerns and suggested you see a therapist. Maybe you feel really alone right now. Maybe you’ve been feeling alone for a long time.”
Read the full text or listen to the video
Discussion Questions
This letter was written by a disabled writer who often feels like a problem patient herself. What resonated most with you? What surprised you?
The letter uses the term “problem patients” to evoke the feelings of isolation and frustration of undiagnosed illness. How does language shape the experience of and care for undiagnosed and complex patients?
How has this piece affected your image of ‘problem patients’ and their lived experience? What can you do to support “problem patients"? What kind of support would you need to do this consistently?
Reflections from #MedHumChat
“What resonates most for me is the sentence "I believe you". Being disbelieved by medical professionals, by family, friends, employers, disability agencies etc. was the most haunting part of being undiagnosed for me. It felt so confusing and unsafe.” —@OdyO11
“When I first read this, I was speechless. I felt so welcomed, heard, understood. I’d had years of symptoms I didn’t even bother explaining to doctors because I knew they wouldn’t help, medical trauma I was barely facing. #NEISvoid has gotten me through dark times.” —@sagetoko
““Maybe you are tired of performing self-care so that the people around you believe that you deserve their support.” this letter was written in the context of chronic illness/disability but this line really hit home as someone who has struggled with depression.” —@riboflavian
About this #MedHumChat
“Dear Problem Patients” was paired with “Rain,” a poem by Anzhelina Polonskaya for a #MedHumChat discussion May 5, 2021 on The Problem Patients’ Perspective.
Deepest gratitude to the curators of this chat: Brianne Benness (@bennessb) and long-time #MedHumChat participant Ody (@OdyO11), who wishes to remain anonymous. Thank you for your voices.
About the Author
Brianne Benness is the host and producer of No End In Sight, a podcast about life with chronic illness.